My Li'l Bastard: An Adventure into Parenting!

Have you ever decided that you want to both love and hate something at the same time, but you aren't attractive enough or are just too lazy to have children? Well, then you'll love what I'm going to be playing today! It's a li'l game called "My Li'l Bastard!" in which you have to train and raise your very own... uhm... uhh... THING!

Gameplay

The gameplay throughout this game is fairly simple, but oh so frustrating. You are given a task, to teach this thing how to go through life like a normal person. At first, feeding it and wiping it, but then, potty training, drinking alcohol, throwing molotov cocktails, and telling it that humping teddy bears is just a-ok. It's like nintendogs, but with something as annoying, incompetent, and stupid as a printer. you tell it one thing, it shits everywhere in response. You try to communicate, it makes insinuations about your mother's promiscuity. You take it drinking, it burns your house down. You know, the good and bad of being a parent.

8/10

Story

The story is very linear, and has three settings, the house (some sort of cardboard box fort), the back alley store, run by the shady owner who has a hard time with the language barrier, if you understand, and finally, the ghetto streets of Nowhereville, Japan, that for some odd reason, is practically lined with gifts for your taking. Like I said, you take care of either a pink or blue "bastard" that you get to live its life with. it goes from pissing, shitting, vomiting machine, pissing shitting, trash talking, binge drinking and smoking, and stuffed animal raping machine.

7/10

and now for...

CHARACTER CORNER: A NEW SECTION IN MY REVIEWS WHERE WE REVIEW AND TALK ABOUT CHARACTERS IN A GAME THAT I'M PLAYING, AND THEN JUDGING THEM LIKE A PIECE OF MEAT!

Shop owner: He's a creepy guy in an overcoat that's been there for you since the very begging, not much is known about him, other that he can give you help on your task at hand, sell you stuff, and laugh at you. He's probably got his own family and friends to attend to, but he has probably killed them all in an insane fit of fiery rage! He gets a 10/10.

Overall: If you like a "take care of something that is designed to hate you" kind of game, then this is the very thing for you. If you like to kill cute little monsters that make you angry by poisoning or openly neglecting them, then this is DEFINITELY the game for you! (if you haven't already been institutionalized) I liked it. you can think what you want why. I give it a B- on a count of you get to make fun of it through a computer connection before you kill it.