First off I'd like to announce that I have a massive headache/stomach ache because I hate Monster energy drinks. Now the Game I've decided to review today (even though I'm writing this at night) is Hipster Kickball- a flash game from Adult Swim. As the title very VAGUELY states, this is a game of kickball in which the players are hipsters. However, you also have the option to play as hippies.
I love this game because it gives me a chance to rant and ramble on about how much I hate hipsters. Because Hipsters are one of the worst kinds of people you can meet, in that they don't contribute anything useful to society other than their affinity toward the "underground" and hate to the "mainstream" even though they themselves are perpetuating their mainstream in that they have become the majority. Topaz and I went to a local gathering of the varied arts that most would call a "farmer's market" and at this weekly event, we could count over 100 hipsters in the crowd. now, that may seem like a measly minority in comparison to the population of bigger cities like New York or Las Angeles, But keep in mind that I live in a tiny, podunk, greenhorn town, in which the population is only in the tens of thousands at best. Even with this number, it still may seem like a small amount, but there are still the hipsters that weren't there, thought it was too conventional. So if one in fifty people are hipsters, then we can safely say that there is a significant overabundance in hipsters. Now, I said that they don't contribute anything to society, but I didn't go too far into it because I went on a bit of a tangent on that and digressed a little. The reason that they don't contribute anything to society is because the only possible way for them to exist is by leeching off of their parent's money. Now, you may be saying to yourself " Hey! But if their parent's buy them all of their stuff, they must be helping to stimulate the economy!" wrong-o sir and or madame. Hipsters also have a vividly putrid love for buying all of their wares, accessories, and other various items from different countries, such as Japan or France. And they don't purchase anything that's been imported from those countries in the multicultural aisle in stores, they buy them off of the internet. Now, for the most part, this wouldn't bother me so much, but what the buy is extremely displeasing. Here's a quick list of things you can spot a regular hipster wearing or activities they might be partaking in.
- thick-framed, lenseless and generally useless glasses.
- plaid shirts or flannels.
- listening to their "favorite" indie band that you've probably never heard of because they're so undiscovered.
- drinking Pabst Blue Ribbon beer.
- smoking Luckies.
- judging people whom are different with nothing other than a disapproving glare of disgust.
- feeding off of the souls of the innocent and the caring.
- Wearing "ironic" shirts.
- wearing overpriced, eccentric shirts.
Okay, onto the game.
Hipster kickball is a pretty cool game, nice controls, nice idea, a sports game that I didn't immediately hate.
You can choose from an assortment of different Hipsters or Hippies, the choice is yours.
Hippies are more well rounded in overall gameplay, and hipsters are more well rounded in the battle aspect. Oh yeah, there's a battle aspect, but I'll get to that later. The game plays just like regular kickball or baseball, three strikes, and you're out. Three outs, and you switch from kicking to fielding. It's battle aspects come into play whenever you are in close contact with the player whom got you out. you get one weapon, which is always a projectile, a battleground with obstacles and such to act as a shield from fire. Also, power boosts that fall from the sky and can either replenish yours or your opponent's health, give your weapon a "spread gun" like effect, and have you fire more frequently. There are stats that you are given for both aspects when you are building your teams at the start of the game, as well as a "just for fun" bio for each player. You pick your players, then assign them field positions and a batting order. There are unlockable characters too, but I haven't gotten too far into that, nor do I feel the need to.
When I first saw this game, I thought it would be terrible because I hate hipsters. But when I realized I had a choice between hipsters and hippies, I saw a ray of hope. I hate hippies too, but I still have respect for them in that they have a cause, however poorly they attempt to achieve their goal.
The gameplay was great, but stereotypical of a sports game like this. A power charging bar, running around slowly to get a ball going the speed of light. I wasn't disappointed, but I wasn't dazzled. It was entertaining. I guess this is where I rate it, but since it's past midnight, That seems to be a bit I guess I give it 85 pixels out of 100. You can play it here
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